BY REV FR GERALD NWAFOR
I have witnessed a family encapsulated in love where the brothers live in peace, unity, and love. I have also witnessed a family where the brothers lived like cat and dog, cat and mouse, snake and rat. I have also seen where the love is not cold nor hot, and everyone is minding their business. The outside world is always looking into the brotherhood business, even when they should focus on their own business. Most of the time, family love goes unnoticed while family feuds make it to the headlines, which is why we have limited resources when it comes to family love but uncountable resources when it comes to family feuds.
I always remind people to look out for behavioral patterns when it comes to human relationships. Do not think that someone who is very antagonistic with his family would not be antagonistic with you. You are daydreaming because it just takes a little time. Our people said, “If you sell or betray your brother in front of a stranger, do not think that the stranger would have an iota of trust in you.” The people in our family know everything about us, but continue to deal with us because they have concluded that blood is thicker than water. The fact that we are brothers does not mean that we all will behave the same way, far from it. There was a saying that in a family it is good to have the good, the bad, and the ugly (Anyi nwere ebu, nwekwa mpu). If you come with good tidings, we have people who will receive you, but if you show up with evil, we are equal to the task.
In a family circle, we do need to understand that we are part of a whole system. In other words, the leg cannot be the eye, nor can the mouth become the hand, but both hand and leg must work in concert for the welfare of the whole system. Earlier, you realized that you cannot be the head if you are made to be the leg. Insults will not take you there, nor can they change your gift from God. I watch with dismay how our political class insults and bullies people in the name of a campaign. I do not think they will gain any votes by calling their brother all kinds of unprintable names. The campaign should be worded with promises and hopes, not calumny.
Even in a family where one of the siblings is not doing well, none of the brothers would come openly to make a mockery of him; the family would always protect the not very efficient brother. There is always a moral high ground to take when you want to talk about your brother in public, because everything you are accusing your brother of is innate in you, the accuser, since you came from the same stock.
I watched in utter disappointment as some politicians were given a platform to campaign for the candidate they are supporting, so that people would believe in their candidate. They have nothing to say but to turn to one of their brothers who is contesting for the office of the president and start casting aspersions on him. I went back to watch the video again to see if I was missing something, but I was not missing anything. One of the brothers started castigating our forefathers by saying that the brave Biafran soldiers who died on the frontline died for nothing. He said that the Biafran agitation has ended with the president in power.
A little history lesson should have reminded him that it was the same group of people he was wining and dining with now who said that hunger was a weapon of warfare. Hence, the blockade of food, goods, and services turned Biafra land into Kwashiorkor land. The two million Biafrans who died in the civil war must be turning in their graves because of some reckless talk by our politicians. We may not all agree on one thing as brothers and sisters, but we respect the weakness of our brother, and we acknowledge the power and strength of our brother, even if we do not agree with each other. All this bad talk from our Igbo politicians should occasion us to be reminded that words do not decay (Okwu ada ele ule), the mouth that speaks may forget, but the heart spoken to may never forget (Onu chezo Obi agwalu ada echezo). When a child speaks foul language to his people, he thinks he is victorious over the elders (Nwata kwuwa onu Osi na ya agwawa ndi okenye obi). Words can build people, words can destroy people, too. What we say now, we will be accountable for it later.
Finally, we should uphold the African philosophy of “ubuntu,” which simply means that because you are, I am. The Nyerere Julius “Ujamaa,” which simply means brotherhood. If you call you calabash trash, your neighbor will use it as a dumpster (Onye kpoo oba ya nkpokolo agbata obi ya ewere ya kpoo ntu). If we castigate our brother because we are dying for national recognition, a time will come when you ask your brother to recognize you, but by then it will be too late. Brotherhood should be honored and upheld. Brothers should be respected at least in their own house.
I see why Jesus made that statement in the scripture about honor and respect to a prophet everywhere except in his own village (Matt, 13:57). And in continuation, the prophet did not perform many miracles in his village. Here, we want to start recognizing our own prophets so that they can do more miracles in our villages and towns. If you pull down your brother in order to stand yourself up, be assured that the community will pull you down when the time comes (day of reckoning). We can withstand an outsider calling our brothers bad names because of jealousy and envy, but what we cannot fathom is our own fighting our own (brother against brother.) The rat in the house informed the rat in the forest that there is fish in the cage (Oke no na ulo gwara oke no na ofia na azu di na ngiga). If we continue to fight each other this way, breaking all the family rules and regulations just to be politically relevant in Nigeria, some brothers and sisters can dig up dirt on any individual in Igboland. Then it will be free-for-all fights. May we use our common sense to protect the brotherhood that has kept us strong from precolonial days (igbe bu ike).
