BY REV FR GERALD NWAFOR
According to popular opinion, “Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person.” It’s putting yourself in someone’s shoes and seeing things from their point of view. Connecting fully with what they are going through without losing the boundary between your own feelings and their feelings. Whenever I see people from some part of Nigeria, I would ask if they are from the volatile area where the bandits operate freely. No matter what they answer, I have this sense of empathy that I would not be able to survive in that kind of environment.
When we went to church in the 70s and 80s, the people from the northern part of Nigeria would be standing in front of the church begging for money. My mother would always walk around giving them one kobo each. I did not get the reason behind it, but my mother would say that they are beggars in need of our support. My worry was not so much the action of my mother but the reason why other mothers were not doing the same if it was very important. One day, I dared to ask my father why my mother always gives money to the people standing at the church, and others do not do the same. I could not remember what my father said, but he supported my mother by saying that it was a good action. I asked him why he was not doing so himself when we go to church with him; he simply said that my mother was doing it for the whole family.
Empathy is a gift I have come to cherish so much because the gift to see beyond the facial smile and know the pain behind it is not common. I visited an orphanage, and I looked at the 30 kids and counting; that they were singing and dancing without knowing what tomorrow would bring moved me to tears. The managers did not know how to tell them that their meals tomorrow are uncertain, and the diapers for the toddlers were not available because of a lack of funds. I talked about the government a little bit, but I am not a visitor to the Nigerian situation. The government of Nigeria has not done a duty which they are obligated to do, so telling them about empathy will be a waste of time. I spoke to some people about the orphanage, and they responded swiftly. Not that all the problems are solved, but at least the fear of hunger has been reduced significantly.
In today’s Nigeria, please do not turn a blind eye to your neighbors or friend or family members; let the empathy move you to action. I heard that a bag of rice is over 100,000 Naira; imagine what a civil servant with 5 kids will be doing with 70,000 naira for one month. It is a suicide mission that no one wants to say. I do not know how to say it, but I have to say it somehow. Do not wait to be asked when you see a situation you can help or make better. People are going through tough times. I was telling a friend how we used to finish a bag of rice in two weeks while growing up. The friend told me that he built a new cupboard with a big padlock so that he can ration the amount of rice the family will cook for the week. I was shocked that it has come to that when parents hide the raw materials from their kids. They measure the number of cups of Garri and rice to be cooked for the week. Please do not be hardened this time in the Nigerian equation. Share with the poor people the little you have, and the rich be generous at this time.
My friend sent out a text to the parish priest that he should announce to the congregation that he will be killing a goat for the poor. I told him that many people will not show up since it is a goat. I gave him three bags of rice (50KGS) to support the good act so that the beneficiaries of the goat meat can have a little rice to complement the cooking. After visiting my uncle and relatives, I decided to visit my friend to ask him how the goat sharing happened. It was 6:15 PM when I arrived at his house, and it was still full of people. I asked if there was another occasion taking place. My friend told me that more than 500 people showed up, and the killer of the goat ran away, and they had to find another person who agreed to kill the goat and piece the meat into 520 shares. I asked about the rice; he said that everyone got a cup and a half. People were sitting patiently waiting for their own share of the goat meat. I cannot believe the level of hardship and hunger in the land today. I do not want to go into the blame game of calling the government names, but I want you to just go out of your way to share your kindness with the people since we all have come to the one conclusion that the government has failed its people.
Finally, the situation may be hopeless, but that does not mean it cannot be helped. A situation can be helpless but not hopeless; it can also be hopeless but not helpless. If you have help, please bring it into hopelessness; if you have hope, bring it into the helpless situation, but by all means necessary, please empathize with the people around you. Many people would say that they do not have enough to give; we do not have to be rich to be generous. Generosity is a gift from God which pushes us to show love when we have seen and felt the situation of a person. The Igbo song said that “The gift of God is very good to us; if I receive let my brothers and sisters receive too for the greater glory of God’s name.” Here we are, God’s gift to one another. Empathize with one another and be the light in the dark. The sunshine they are waiting for and the bread they dreamed about. A little gift can change life, and a simple word can move mountains. Do not underrate yourself; you can contribute to the welfare of the people with your gift from God.
