To be happy is not by accident; it is a fundamental decision of a person to be in that state of mind. It would be nice to keep in mind that it is not a destination where you arrive and then you retire. No, it is not a destination, but rather it is a journey. You have to get up in the morning and make the decision that you will not get angry today over the trivialities of life. The way you get up in the morning and make a decision to be a doctor, a lawyer, an artist, a priest, and so on. The same way you wake up in the morning and tell yourself that today you are in pursuit of happiness. If you fail to remind yourself of this goal, you may end the day being so sad because of something that has no business with you.
When I give an example now with the Nigerian situation, my editor would edit it out, saying that I promised not to write about politics on this work, but I would counter that we are human beings living in a country called Nigeria, and its management effects of mood and emotions.
Alright, back to the topic: Happiness comes from within; it can be influenced by the objects or activities outside of you, but you must make the decision from within. If you have a cup of coffee in your hand for three seconds, you do not feel the weight, but if you have the same cup of coffee in your hand for thirty minutes, the hand becomes weary; the weight of the coffee was never increased, but the length of time you carried it did. If something happened to you, or someone said something to you, and you did not like it, and you decided to carry the word in your heart for so long, words will begin to erode your happiness and destroy your peace of mind. Always be quick to forgive and seek that happiness within and move on.
We are familiar with the story of the monks who helped a woman cross the river. The two monks came to the riverbank, and there was a woman who could not cross the river. One of the monks offered to carry her on his back and helped her cross the river. The other monk declined to help. The helper-Monk carried the woman across the river, dropped her off, and continued the journey. The other monk told him that he would report him to the abbot for touching a woman, not even the grievous sin of carrying her on his back. While at home during dinner, the monk who refused to help the woman told the abbot what happened on their way home: how a fellow monk carried a woman on her back. The wise abbot responded by saying, “He carried her on his back and dropped her, but you have carried her in your mind all this time and even on to the dinner table.” You can see the choice of the other monk to carry the event in his heart for a whole day. You can make the decision to carry in your heart an event that destroys your happiness or an event that uplifts your spirit.
Being sad is also a choice. Too much expectation brings sadness. If you start thinking about how the government of Nigeria would rig the 2027 election, you may never see happiness in 2026. Remember that not all plans come to fulfillment. There are people who plan on how they will be in power forever and ever, and the common characteristic of human beings caught up with them which states that all men are mortal. So do not think so much about the Nigerian matter that sadness will engulf your peace and happiness will depart from you. There are a thousand things to make you sad, but there is one thing to make you happy. I tell you to chooseone thing that makes you happy. Many people do not like you, but there is one person who values your friendship; do not let go of that one person. Our culture says that a mad man has a friend (Onye aranwereenyi).
Never think that everything is gloom and doom. There is always hope and light of life and way. Someone wrote a long time ago about the shoe story that my mother would read every Christmas to us before going to market to buy our cheap Christmas shoes (made in Aba, Nigeria). She would read thus, “There was a kid who was crying that the shoes the mother bought for him were not good enough until he saw a boy with flip-flops. The boy with flip-flops was complaining that he had no shoes until he saw another boy without anything on his feet walking barefoot. The barefooted boy was complaining about not getting anything for Christmas until he saw another boy without feet at all.” She would end the story and zoom off to the main market. We were always happy with whatever she came back with since we understood that it could have been worse. The situation you are now in and have been complaining bitterlyabout, I tell you in simple language that many people would work all their lives to be in that situation. Make the best use of it and be fulfilled.
Fulfillment is the hallmark of happiness, and lack of fulfillment is the bedrock of sadness. When you are not happy with the one thousand in your pocket, I tell you,you will not be happy with two million in your pocket because the joy of having increases by having. Remember that human wants are insatiable, but they cannot satisfy the wants of others and yours too. Be content with what you have; greed kills happiness, and envy breeds sadness. What you cannot afford should not keep you awake at night. What you do not have should not be the goal of your happiness. Let your happiness be local and your source of joy very simple. The things you need to be happy are very easy called the five S’s (Sunshine the natural medicine, socializing with family and friends, sleeping very well, smile always you need less muscle for it, and at last simplicity, always keep it simple nothing comes out of rigidity). Life is too short to be lived in hate and anger. Make the best choices to be happy and avoid the toxic environment that fosters sadness.
BY REV. FR. GERALD NWAFOR
