By Rev Fr Gerald Nwafor
I was born and bred in Onitsha, schooled in Awka, worked in Nnewi, and lived in Ekwuliobia. I also winged in other locations across Nigeria and beyond. I would limit this experience to the Southeast of Nigeria. In that sojourn, I encountered the best of the best and the worst of the worst. The best would always share the maternal love of charity and care, while the worst would remind you of the biblical Jezebel and Nicolaitans.
Mama Ejike in Onitsha was a medical practitioner. Mama Ejike was living among the poor people of Odo-Akpu who could not afford the money to take the vaccine shot against chickenpox and measles. There was an outbreak, and there was panic. Some privileged families were able to go to the General Hospital, Onitsha, along Awka road near Nnamdi Azikiwe-Round-About to get a vaccine shot. Those who were poor were left to the option of getting the influenza and fighting it. You can make it alive or pay the ultimate price of death. There was this uncertainty till one evening, there was an announcement that Mama Ejike was giving a free vaccine shot in her house on a Saturday from 8 AM in the morning to 6 PM in the evening. Her house suddenly became the pilgrimage center for the whole community. As a young boy, I got mine early and stood to watch others receive theirs from the oldest to the youngest. Our daily takeaway was the reaction of people when the needle goes into their upper arm. We laugh at those who show a needle allergy (Trypanophobia). And we praise those who walk up bravely to receive their shots.
During the cholera outbreak, Mama Ejike was equal to the task, also giving out vaccines to the community free of charge. I was also surprised that Mama Ejike has no car but walks majestically to work every morning. Her name was on everyone’s lips when it came to sickness. I cannot count how many times my mother sent us to her to receive medical treatment. I remember my little brother saying at that time that he would like to be like Mama Ejike. Later, Mama Ikechukwu and Mama Abumchukwu joined the medical profession, though not at the level of Mama Ejike, but they surely paid their dues in helping the community when it comes to health care.The woman who wanted to destroy my faith in motherhood was the one who lied about Mrs. Ibekwe. Traditionally, our people say that gossip is more dangerous compared to poison (Asili ka nsi). The idea was that poison can kill a person, and that is it, but gossip can erupt a whole village because everyone would become a suspect, trust would vanish, and the gossip would ultimately lead to war. We all saw when the woman went to the water drum of the landlady and took her water. We were playing soccer in a nearby space. Some of us paid attention to the daylight stealing of the water, but some did not. When the landlady came back from work and started looking for her water, it was the same thief who went to the landlady to report that she saw Mrs. Ibekwe stealing the water. There was a commotion that evening since Mrs. Ibekwe was not even in the compound when the crime was committed. The landlady was sure of her accusation because the informant gave her words as gospel. It was in that diatribe between the landlady and Mrs. Ibekwe that I went quietly to my mother to inform her of what we saw while playing soccer. My mother asked me to bring my co-players together. From my memory, I can count Abumchukwu, Oseloka, Ikechukwu, Emeka, Harrison, Chukwuma, Ejike, Nnamdi, Onyeka, Chukwudi, Anayo, Okey, and Chike. There may be more, but these were the witnesses I gathered, and my mother asked if they saw the thief. They all said yes, that it was the informant that we saw stealing the water.
My mother led us to the landlady to give her the true information. We told the landlady that while playing soccer, we saw Ifeyinwa (Mama Metu) taking water from the drum constantly. The landlord was shellshocked. She asked if we could say that in front of Mama Ifeyinwa, and we all echoed ‘Yes.’ The landlady told my mother that the informant was Mama Metu. My mother was also shellshocked. We walked to her door, and the landlady knocked on her door. When she opened her door and saw us and the landlady, she closed the door against us and locked us out. It was then that hell let loose. The landlady dramatized her shouting and apologized to Mrs. Ibekwe. People were asking the motive behind Mama Metu’s intention. My mother said hate, but the landlady said evil machination, so that a war would start, and everyone would be a suspect.
Despite that, I did not lose all hope and trust in women.Some women merited their flowers, and some did not merit even the simplest of flowers (mgbolodi). From primary one to five, I have had women as my teachers, which my mother was one of them. Those women always gave us groundnuts (Kulikuli). I could tell when they received their salaries, we would get doughnuts (buns), or local ice cream (Fan Ice or dumandu). There was always a gift for a good student. But the male teachers did not give out anything, no treats, the only thing on their table was the long cane awaiting the buttocks of a misbehaving child. Male teachers, I fear you.
The funny aspect of the whole thing was the female teachers sending the disturbing student to the male teacher for flogging. The male teachers would gladly do the job, but first asked the student, “What did you do?” That would determine the number of lashes you would get. The lashes ranged from 6 to 24. When it is 24, they need strong boys to come and hold you down. I hope they have stopped the abuse of 24 lashes to innocent kids who showed up to learn not to be bullied. This piece is not about corporal punishment, but I think I should send a warning so that teachers should desist from that medieval practice of hitting an underage kid with a stick.
Back to the good women and the not very good women. The good women should keep up the good work and continue to share the love they received from God as a gift. The less effective women, like Ifeyinwa, should look for a job and get busy with their lives, and not gossip and set up enemies. I know they would say that there is no job in this Tinubu government, but I should remind them that if you have energy to gossip, you can also use the same energy for good (Report the good things happening within your community on Facebook and other social media).
