BY REV FR GERALD
NWAFOR
According to Buddha, anger is like drinking a cup of poison and expecting another person to die. So, just be aware that the person who drank the poison is the one who will die not the other person who did not even know that you took a cup of poison. Likewise, the object of your anger may not be aware that he did something against your emotional balance. Jesus elevated the discussion by presenting the three most important elements to help us manage and conduct ourselves positively. Jesus opined love, mercy, and forgiveness not only to friends and families, but to foes (enemies) also.
When we were in school, our teachers would always tell us to conduct ourselves well as a good student. In those days we did not grasp the complete meaning of the word since English was not our mother tongue. Our understanding was limited by translation but with time it became clearer what the teacher was saying fifty years ago. When you conduct yourself in a manner that is worthy of emulation your problem is half solved. Do not allow the toxic behavior of your neighbor or the other person to change your sweet mood. Always conduct yourself in a manner that helps you to maintain your balance. It could be challenging in a society where everyone is struggling for survival, but you can still manage the environment better or positively. The bus driver and his conductor may be behaving in a manner that is not exceptionally different because we know that they did not go to school to know better. But you did not need to go to school to become a good person or to behave civilly. I sat quietly observing the conductor insulting every passenger who did not bring out the transport fare as quickly as possible. This occurred sometimes to the amusement of the other passenger and sometimes to the detriment of the human dignity of the passenger. I changed my seat and went closer to the driver and initiated a discussion because I did not want to hush the conduct. If I did try to hush the conductor am sure I would have collected my doses of abuse. I told the driver that his car was very comfortable and one of the best buses plying that route. The driver was so happy and quickly asked if I had been in his car before and I replied yes. But I quickly added that the insults and abuses from his conductor make people uncomfortable. Typical of Nigerian drivers he turned immediately to the conductor and shouted (bia kwusi njakilia na moto mu) ‘Stop the insult in my car’.
All the passengers were happy and started calling out the conductor.
We can always make the bad situation better depending on how we conduct ourselves. I have also watched how the politicians are jumping ship. From APC to PDP, from PDP to APC, from LP to PDP, and so on. One of their arguments states that they want to join APC to stay connected to the federal government. I am not against being connected to the federal government but the conduct of the person joining the federal government is what should be considered. Our culture said that I do not want to be overfed to the point that I do not know the road to my house and I will fall asleep along the highways and hedgerows, better for me to stay hungry and conduct myself well until I get home (Kama iriji afo dachie uzo, kam bulu onu).
Meanwhile, if you join the federal party and receive the big allocation your state will start to pay political-tithe. The conduct of governance will change and orders will be coming from Abuja on how to manage our local affairs. It is better to have a governor who will receive one million from the federation and put it to work than to have a governor who will receive one billion and put it into his pocket. The conduct of the primary election of the political parties gave a clue as to how their candidates would run the state should they win the general election. The way the political class conducts themselves exposes what they will do if they get into power. Nobody should buy into the lies of joining a political party to be connected to the federal government.
Since 2007 Anambra state has not connected to any national party but you cannot compare the progress in Anambra with some of the so-called states that have been in the business of connecting to the federal. The conduct of the governors in those states speaks volumes and the democratic dividends are in want in those areas.In one of my pieces, I called on the people of Anambra not to give free course to their anger. It’s all about conduct and political calculations. I have discussed this with citizens across the 36 states of the federation. They all wanted to be like Anambra, even some governors told me that Anambra is the only state in Nigeria with governors that have no political godfather, and recently Abia State joined that league.
When you worthily conduct yourself the result is always worthy. I started by pointing out the thoughts of Jesus and Buddha, these two personalities conducted themselves in a way that 2000 years after people are still following in their footsteps. The story was told about the good wife who cooked bad soup the day an august visitor came to visit their family. The husband who knew too well that the wife must have miscalculated the quantity of salt to be added to the soup was worried about how to tell the wife that the soup was not good. On the other hand, how to explain to the visitors that today’s soup was a mess. After a while, he conducted himself and told the wife to leave all the food in the kitchen till the visitors arrived. When the visitors arrive it is time for dinner. He joined the wife in the kitchen to deliver all the food to the dining table. In the process in front of the visitors with the pot of soup in his hand towards the dining table, he slipped and fell and all the soup was on the floor. The visitors were so sympathetic that a man who was so dedicated and was helping the wife to set up slipped and fell. Imagine what would have happened if the man decided to fight with his wife over the poorly prepared pot of soup.
Do not allow anger to destroy your life. I have heard anger causes cancer too, but I have not verified it. Allow love, mercy, and forgiveness to change your life: I have heard these three bring healthy living and good conduct. And this I have verified.
