BY REV. FR. GERALD NWAFOR
My friend refused to go to Christmas Mass because he did not have the money to buy new clothes for the Christmas season. I told him that he should not worry about the dress and offered to give him one of mine because I had two.
He was so happy for my kindness, but I kept wondering what change he got from the new dress since no one recognized it in the church nor did anyone compliment me for wearing a new set of clothes and shoes.
I looked around the church and I saw many people wearing new clothes like us and many more wearing old clothes. I watched people exchanging greetings and pleasantries. None of the people who greeted us on coming back home mentioned our clothes or shoes. Most of the questions were about my father and mother who they saw in the early hours of yesterday when we came back from the city.
We went over to the priest to say hello and register our presence. The priest was happy to see us and asked about our family and the people we left behind in the city. It was a pleasant exchange with the priest. We visited some close relatives as it was the custom during the yuletide season to register our presence.
None complimented our dress, I mean zero, but they were all happy to see us. When we came back home to my parents’ house the food was ready and we were served by my mother and sister. A very sumptuous jollof rice and chicken and moimoi with a plate of pepper soup. We had a good share of palm wine delivered by Otenkwu a day earlier and was preserved in the fridge. In the middle of the meal my sister said to my friend, “My brother has the same clothes as yours.” None of us said anything because we knew the truth.
My friend was very uncomfortable because he could not afford the clothes in the real sense and that was not his worth.His worth is not what he wears but what is inside of him. Sometimes we see people’s net worth written in Forbes or some big magazines. Is that the actual worth of the person? A piece of paper called money is stored somewhere in the bank or building. It is left for you to speculate and come to the conclusion of what you think should be the real worth of a person.
I do not think that your worth is all about the material wealth or the shirt you put on, it is more than that. I look at Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, who always puts on one type of t-shirt. I have never seen a chain or a pendant around his neck.
What is his worth in society? I think it was what he was able to contribute to the world through Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, and thread. His dress, shoes, wristwatches, bangles, chains, and pendants, not even his houses, were not worth defining his worth. Maybe he would be the person to define the worth of clothes and shoes. If your worth depends on what you wear, I am afraid you need to strategize because that is very dangerous and would lead to failure.
Similarly, our educational qualifications are not our worth because certificates do not make sense, it may make false sense, because those people in charge of Nigeria all have certificates that they presented to INEC or the Supreme Court, but look at where they’ve led the country to today.
So, it is not the certificate you acquired during your schooling that would define your worth but what you were able to contribute to the society in which you live. When you discover your worth many things would not be of value to you. The rich man who discovers his worth lives a simple life because he has realized that the money should work for him rather than him working for the money. While the poor man who lives like a rich man is still searching for his worth in the material wealth.
He may never find it.Your value is your worth. What is the worth of a friend? In this age and time, it may seem to be the type of mobile phone he or she is using. The three main companies now are Apple, Samsung, and Tecno Phantom X.
When your friend acquires one of these phones people will say that he has joined the club (osolugo na ife ana eme). That is to say that the quality of his phone is now his worth and people will begin to find a way to buy such expensive phones, even when they know that it is beyond their reach.
On the other hand, some people think that their worth is the value of the car they are driving or riding in. We were in the family meeting (Meeting Umunna) and an uncle drove in. Everyone was waiting to see who would alight from the vehicle.
One of the brothers urged the secretary to continue reading the minutes of the meeting but he refused and continued waiting for the uncle to show up. Finally, the uncle alighted, and everyone said he borrowed the vehicle from a friend.
He was ignored by everyone in the meeting, not even a welcome had accorded him. I was amazed how our value has changed so much that the value of an uncle is now the kind of car he drives. Is that his worth as a brother to your parent? I do not have a problem when people borrow from their friends for convenience’s sake because that is what friends are for (to help one another), but when it is to change or misrepresent your worth in the eyes of others it is not a good idea.
Our value and our worth are inside of us, not what we wear or what we drive or the phone we use because with the phone you can send a wrong text that would expose your worthlessness.
