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IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD by Paul Chika Emekwulu

January 28, 2023
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IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD by Paul Chika Emekwulu

by Trinitas News
January 28, 2023
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It was a Friday morning. A boy (Let’s call him Chris) came knocking at my gate. Chris is an intelligent young boy who would be 10 on his next birthday. He very much reminds me of my own tender years. Since I met him he takes the first position in every terminal exam. Just a few days before concluding this article he came to my house to tell me that the term had ended and he had done it again – first position. Chris’ grandfather in an elementary six English class taught me how to arrange English words in an alphabetical order.

Immediately I heard “kpam, kpam”, kpam” I knew that someone was at my gate.
“Kpam, kpam, kpam” is a phrase commonly used by a visitor in some parts of Igbọ land to indicate presence at someone’s house. At times repeatedly, if there is no response coming from the house. This is followed with clapping of two hands in succession. If this is matched with a response from the house, then one is allowed to proceed if the door is open, otherwise, one has to wait until someone answers the door.

At times when you inquire who the visitor is before answering the door, usually the reply is, “It’s me.” To that I always say, “It’s me” is not someone’s name. This will force the visitor to announce his or her name. That response makes an impression only when the person answering the door can place the voice and when that is the case, the visitor will get a response like, “Gaba” meaning “proceed” or “Come in”

I suspected it was Chris’ voice that I heard. Yes, it was Chris. We’ve just talked about less than a week ago. He always comes by on his way to a catechism class, going to school or choir practice. At times while going to Church he also walks over to my house to see if he could ride with me. We’ve ridden back and forth to Church in my car at least twice.

Chris came to report to me a theft that took place at his house a few days earlier. Some unidentified thieves had stolen the upkeep money belonging to him and his elder sister. Before he came to my house with this report I had been concerned because of a dream I had the previous night. In that dream I saw his last name boldly written in cream colour. When I woke up the next morning, I concluded that something must have gone amiss. I was tempted to pay him a visit but his visit made mine unnecessary. Now, at times I take some of my dreams seriously. At times because we all know that some dreams don’t have meanings. Some people are usually of the opinion that our nightly dreams are as a result of what we went through during our waking state. I disagree with this absolutely and I’ve my reasons.

  • What about ideas for an invention that people never thought about but came to them in a dream for the very first time?
  • When a maternal cousin of mine was shot to death in Lagos it was revealed to me in a dream with the exact date.
  • My book on numbers of the Fibonacci sequence titled, Getting to know Fibonacci numbers was written out of a dream experience I had on March 30, 1993. Fibonacci numbers are numbers of the form: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 244, 233, 377…

There are other instances.

Before the advent of Nigerian Universities Commission (NUC) and Joint Admissions & Matriculation Board (JAMB), entrance exams into Nigerian tertiary institutions were conducted by individual institutions including Alvan Ikoku College of Education, now Alvan Ikoku Federal College of Education, Owerri.

On Friday, January 10, 1975, I heard a dream where a partial list of different subject combinations relating to the institution’s entrance exam. was revealed to me.

The information as contained in the dream was to appear on the January 13, 1975 issue of the then Renaissance newspaper of the then East Central State of Nigeria.

On January 13, 1975, at the Junction of Ngwá Road and Portharcourt Road, Aba I drew the attention of a newspaper vendor and told him that I wanted to check some information in the paper. To my surprise there was the information I was looking for starting from page 2.

  • On January 11, 2013, in a flying dream I was flying over familiar and unfamiliar faces accompanied by an unidentified female. In the dream, at a point I started thinking of a flying car – a car that could fly as an airplane and can be driven as a car as well. Today a lot of companies are in the business of flying car manufacturing and these include Terrafulgia, Aeromobil, SkyDrive, Joby Aviation, Archer, Lilium, Cora, Kitty Hawk, A cubed etc. That’s not all. Some years ago I thought of self-driven or driverless cars as well. Today, these are all real and not a fantasy

The above are just few examples to prove that our dream content is not necessarily about what transpired in our waking state,

Now, Chris’ father has been in the hospital for the past few months in a town about 5 miles away. Things weren’t going well at home. It has not been easy. At times breakfast is a luxury. When I first met Chris at the gate I asked him why he didn’t go to school. He said that the exams are over and he would be at school later in the day. He also said that for the first few hours aii that school children would be doing was just run around while waiting for the release of terminal results. “So, you’ll be going to school to take your usual position.”

“Yes,”, he confirmed confidently with his usual smile.

He has been taking the first position consecutively for several years now. To him it seems to be a tradition.

“Wait for me,” I said to him. After this I left hoping to join him in the next few minutes. After less than five minutes I heard “kpam, kpam, kpam” again at the gate.
I listened carefully and it was Chris’ voice. I went out to confirm.

“Don’t do that again. I told you I would be back,” I reprimanded him.

“Why were you knocking and shouting when I had told you I was coming back? “

“I am in a hurry,” he responded.

He was in a hurry but it wasn’t mandatory that I should do something to play down his situation. Now, no matter how much in a hurry he was, he shouldn’t have done what he did, but he did it anyway. Since we knew each other I’ve never been angry at him because there was no reason to. Of course I came back as promised and helped as much as I could.

Now, it will be interesting to relate what happened between Chris and I to an aspect of my purchasing habit. Whenever I’m in need of things like pair of shoes or sandals, TV set, laptop computer printer, car etc., the decision to buy doesn’t take place at first visit. Moreover, I shop around for better prices just like some of us. If I say, “I’ll be back,” surely, I’ll be back to make a purchase. Therefore, it takes more than one trip before I make a final decision to buy. Once the decision is made, the sale is closed.

Now for what Chris did, any punishment from me, if at all could be in the form of a ban or suspension for a specified period of time. When that is an option, he should be made to understand why the punishment. While banning him permanently from my house may be the best option, doing so will be sheer wickedness.

Among others, patience is one of the virtues encouraged in Galatians 5:22. In Proverbs 22:6, the word od God says, “Direct your children unto the right path and when they get older they will not leave it.” Impatience is not against the law of any nation including Nigeria unless it leads to committing a crime. Any punishment meted then is because of the crime and not because of patience. Therefore, what Chris did doesn’t carry any formal punishment from any constituted authority. Rather, it can only attract a punishment from a concerned parent, guardian, family member, or an individual from outside the family. I said all that for two reasons: First, in order to bring what Chris did to a level where it could be considered to be evil, even though no crime was committed. Second, I said that for us to listen to Albert Einstein, the Jewish-American physicist, philosopher and mathematician who said that the world we live in is dangerous not because of those who do the evil but because of those who do not want to do anything about it. It is very clear that Chris has problem with patience and he is not the only pebble on the beach. His situation was therefore, a case of impatience. It is the same impatience we see everywhere around us. We notice impatience among the young as well as the old wherever waiting is needed for commencement and completion of business.

Look at the long list:

impatience at home, impatience at the bank, impatience at hospitals
impatience in the streets, impatience at book events, Impatience at motor parks, Impatience at medical clinics, Impatience at movie theaters
impatience at political rallies, impatience at market places, Impatience in the classroom, impatience at petrol stations, Impatience at school assembly,
impatience at burial ceremonies, Impatience at wedding ceremonies, Impatience and consequent disobedience at traffic lights etc.

I’ve never in my relationship with Chris failed to fulfill any of my promises to him. So, I had no history of mistrust that would have encouraged him to act the way he did. He has to be stopped by talking to him in a manner he would understand like I did to avoid a repeat performance. This could serve as a deterrent to younger children, those his age and older.

Parents, guardians, family members and concerned individuals outside the family should discourage such negative aggressive behaviour whenever and wherever noticed not only in their own children, but in other people’s children as well. After all, doesn’t it take a village to raise a childIT TAKES VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD
by Paul Chika Emekwulu

It was a Friday morning. A boy (Let’s call him Chris) came knocking at my gate. Chris is an intelligent young boy who would be 10 on his next birthday. He very much reminds me of my own tender years. Since I met him he takes the first position in every terminal exam. Just a few days before concluding this article he came to my house to tell me that the term had ended and he had done it again – first position. Chris’ grandfather in an elementary six English class taught me how to arrange English words in an alphabetical order.

Immediately I heard “kpam, kpam”, kpam” I knew that someone was at my gate.
“Kpam, kpam, kpam” is a phrase commonly used by a visitor in some parts of Igbọ land to indicate presence at someone’s house. At times repeatedly, if there is no response coming from the house. This is followed with clapping of two hands in succession. If this is matched with a response from the house, then one is allowed to proceed if the door is open, otherwise, one has to wait until someone answers the door.

At times when you inquire who the visitor is before answering the door, usually the reply is, “It’s me.” To that I always say, “It’s me” is not someone’s name. This will force the visitor to announce his or her name. That response makes an impression only when the person answering the door can place the voice and when that is the case, the visitor will get a response like, “Gaba” meaning “proceed” or “Come in”

I suspected it was Chris’ voice that I heard. Yes, it was Chris. We’ve just talked about less than a week ago. He always comes by on his way to a catechism class, going to school or choir practice. At times while going to Church he also walks over to my house to see if he could ride with me. We’ve ridden back and forth to Church in my car at least twice.

Chris came to report to me a theft that took place at his house a few days earlier. Some unidentified thieves had stolen the upkeep money belonging to him and his elder sister. Before he came to my house with this report I had been concerned because of a dream I had the previous night. In that dream I saw his last name boldly written in cream colour. When I woke up the next morning, I concluded that something must have gone amiss. I was tempted to pay him a visit but his visit made mine unnecessary. Now, at times I take some of my dreams seriously. At times because we all know that some dreams don’t have meanings. Some people are usually of the opinion that our nightly dreams are as a result of what we went through during our waking state. I disagree with this absolutely and I’ve my reasons.

  • What about ideas for an invention that people never thought about but came to them in a dream for the very first time?
  • When a maternal cousin of mine was shot to death in Lagos it was revealed to me in a dream with the exact date.
  • My book on numbers of the Fibonacci sequence titled, Getting to know Fibonacci numbers was written out of a dream experience I had on March 30, 1993. Fibonacci numbers are numbers of the form: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 244, 233, 377…

There are other instances.

Before the advent of Nigerian Universities Commission (NUC) and Joint Admissions & Matriculation Board (JAMB), entrance exams into Nigerian tertiary institutions were conducted by individual institutions including Alvan Ikoku College of Education, now Alvan Ikoku Federal College of Education, Owerri.

On Friday, January 10, 1975, I heard a dream where a partial list of different subject combinations relating to the institution’s entrance exam. was revealed to me.

The information as contained in the dream was to appear on the January 13, 1975 issue of the then Renaissance newspaper of the then East Central State of Nigeria.

On January 13, 1975, at the Junction of Ngwá Road and Portharcourt Road, Aba, I drew the attention of a newspaper vendor and told him that I wanted to check some information in the paper. To my surprise there was the information I was looking for starting from page 2.

  • On January 11, 2013, in a flying dream I was flying over familiar and unfamiliar faces accompanied by an unidentified female. In the dream, at a point I started thinking of a flying car – a car that could fly as an airplane and can be driven as a car as well. Today a lot of companies are in the business of flying car manufacturing and these include Terrafulgia, Aeromobil, SkyDrive, Joby Aviation, Archer, Lilium, Cora, Kitty Hawk, A cubed etc. That’s not all. Some years ago I thought of self-driven or driverless cars as well. Today, these are all real and not a fantasy
  • On early Tuesday morning of February 6, 2017, I had a dream where I was about to have a discussion on the relationship between Fibonacci numbers and triangular numbers with an unknown individual who I will call Mr. X. Mr. X is a heavily built man of about 300ibs (136 kg) and quite at home with Fibonacci and triangular numbers. As we were about to start the discussion a noise behind me attracted my attention. It was the voice of Mr. X’s wife. The discussion never took place and the locale of the dream wasn’t known. During my waking state, and in my usual independent way of investigating and exploring things of that nature, I started to mess with Fibonacci and triangular numbers. Triangular numbers are numbers of the form: 1, 3, 6, 10, 15, 21, 28, 36, 45…

Now is there really a relationship between Fibonacci and triangular numbers? The answer is yes. In the process of messing with these two types of numbers, I invented a formula for converting any three consecutive Fibonacci numbers to single, unique triangular numbers. The formula is contained in my book on the subject of Fibonacci numbers titled, Getting to know Fibonacci numbers available both as an ebook and in print on Amazon. com, Barnesand Noble.com, Smashwords.com etc.

The above are just few examples to prove that our dream content is not necessarily about what transpired in our waking state, For lack of space I’ve provided few instances.

Now continuing, Chris’ father has been in the hospital for the past few months in a town about 5 miles away. Things weren’t going well at home. It has not been easy. At times breakfast is a luxury.

When I first met Chris at the gate I asked him why he didn’t go to school. He said that the exams are over and he would be at school later in the day. He also said that for the first few hours aii that school children would be doing was just run around while waiting for the release of terminal results.

“So you’re going to take your usual position.”

“Yes,”, he confirmed confidently with his usual smile.

He has been taking the first position consecutively for several years now. To him it seems to be a tradition.

“Wait for me,” I said to him. After this I left hoping to join him in the next few minutes. After less than five minutes I heard “kpam, kpam, kpam” again at the gate.
I listened carefully and it was Chris’ voice. I went out to confirm.

“Don’t do that again. I told you I would be back,” I reprimanded him.

“Why were you knocking and shouting when I had told you I was coming back? “

“I am in a hurry,” he responded.

He was in a hurry but it wasn’t mandatory that I should do something to play down his situation. Now, no matter how much in a hurry he was, he shouldn’t have done what he did, but he did it anyway. Since we knew each other I’ve never been angry at him because there was no reason to. Of course I came back as promised and helped as much as I could.

Now, it will be interesting to relate what happened between Chris and I to an aspect of my purchasing habit. Whenever I’m in need of things like pair of shoes or sandals, TV set, laptop computer printer, car etc., the decision to buy doesn’t take place at first visit. Moreover, I shop around for better prices just like some of us. If I say, “I’ll be back,” surely, I’ll be back to make a purchase. Therefore, it takes more than one trip before I make a final decision to buy. Once the decision is made, the sale is closed.

Now for what Chris did, any punishment from me, if at all could be in the form of a ban or suspension for a specified period of time. When that is an option, he should be made to understand why the punishment. While banning him permanently from my house may be the best option, doing so will be sheer wickedness.

Among others, patience is one of the virtues encouraged in Galatians 5:22. In Proverbs 22:6, the word od God says, “Direct your children unto the right path and when they get older they will not leave it.” Impatience is not against the law of any nation including Nigeria unless it leads to committing a crime. Any punishment meted then is because of the crime and not because of patience. Therefore, what Chris did doesn’t carry any formal punishment from any constituted authority. Rather, it can only attract a punishment from a concerned parent, guardian, family member, or an individual from outside the family. I said all that for two reasons: First, in order to bring what Chris did to a level where it could be considered to be evil, even though no crime was committed. Second, I said that for us to listen to Albert Einstein, the Jewish-American physicist, philosopher and mathematician who said that the world we live in is dangerous not because of those who do the evil but because of those who do not want to do anything about it. It is very clear that Chris has problem with patience and he is not the only pebble on the beach. His situation was therefore, a case of impatience. It is the same impatience we see everywhere around us. We notice impatience among the young as well as the old wherever waiting is needed for commencement and completion of business.

Look at the long list:

impatience at home, impatience at the bank, impatience at hospitals
impatience in the streets, impatience at book events, Impatience at motor parks, Impatience at medical clinics, Impatience at movie theaters
impatience at political rallies, impatience at market places, Impatience in the classroom, impatience at petrol stations, Impatience at school assembly,
impatience at burial ceremonies, Impatience at wedding ceremonies, Impatience and consequent disobedience at traffic lights etc.

I’ve never in my relationship with Chris failed to fulfill any of my promises to him. So, I had no history of mistrust that would have encouraged him to act the way he did. He has to be stopped by talking to him in a manner he would understand like I did to avoid a repeat performance. This could serve as a deterrent to younger children, those his age and older.

Parents, guardians, family members and concerned individuals outside the family should discourage such negative aggressive behaviour whenever and wherever noticed not only in their own children, but in other people’s children as well. After all, doesn’t it take a village to raise a child? Yes, it does!? Yes, it does!

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