By Rev Fr Gerald Nwafor
Christmas is around the corner, and nostalgia about the celebration is in the air. It is a common phenomenon to ask anyone when they will be travelling back to the village to celebrate the Christmas season.
If it were the village of the wife, the kids would be talking about the experience with Grandma, which is always so sweet and fancy. If it is the husband’s home, the story of Grandpa is not always well shared. I do not know the reason why the stories of Grandpa do not hit the headlines like those of Grandma. Maybe, let me take a guess, Grandpas are very busy making money like the rest of men, and their value within the family circle is less reported. The topic of today is Grandma, so let’s face it. In Grandma’s house, there is always enough to eat.
There was a lot of freedom to move around and do some of those things our mothers would not allow us to do. Early in the morning, we will get up to go to the Udara tree (local apple) to pick up the apples that fall at night, since we are not allowed to throw stones and sticks at the apple tree. Grandma knew all the neighbors who went out at night to look for Udara. She would connect you with those families, and around 5 AM, they would come calling, and Grandma would wake you up to join the group. From the Udara tree to the Ube-Okpoko and Mbembe tree.
It was always a time to learn and communicate with the villagers, and make good friends. Grandma would always add to the instructions that we should take our shower in the stream before coming home. We did not have a wristwatch then, but I think we arrived home between 8 AM and 9 AM. On our return from the early morning experience, the breakfast is ready, and Grandma is gathering condiments for lunch. She would praise you for bringing home Udara, Ube-Osa, and Mbembe.
This was the rare time when someone has appreciated you for what you did. There is a lot of work to be done at Grandma’s house, but I think the approach makes it look easy. In the city, we do not go to the farm or take showers in the stream, but there is no joy in the city compared to what we have in grandmother’s house. I think the treatment as a prince and princess is what makes the difference.
Mothers are always commanding and demanding, but Grandma is always encouraging and rewarding. Grandma goes to morning Mass some days with everyone in a single line, reciting the rosary. The Christian Grandmas are very religious and have the patience to explain to you that Jesus will do everything for you, while the Virgin Mary would always listen to your request. The Grandma would take you into the Pious Societies she belongs to and try to convince you that the societies would help you in life. When we visited a small kiosk where buns, kulikuli, fish rolls, doughnuts, and biscuits were sold, our hopes were high. Grandma will do a lot of shopping and make sure that we have one of the items in our hands before setting out to go back home. In some good moments, some mineral water will be added, my favorite then was Fanta or Coke. That didn’t come often since Grandma was not rich by any standard, but she has enough money for our needs, not greed.
The civic space doesn’t shrink because we go to the marketplace to watch the village masquerade and the new dancing groups that came out of the age grade. We asked what the celebration was coming up, and she would enumerate to us what is coming without any written record and know when what will happen and the exact time we need to be there to get to the front row stand, not seat. She would always be shouting the names of the people she thought we should know, in case you miss your way and see someone you know. She would make sure we got our share of the bread that had a little sardine and butter inside it (sandwich).
I am not sure if it was a sandwich, but that is the only food we got during the village outing from the celebrating age-grade. At that age, it was a big deal that you came home with two pieces of sliced bread with butter and sardine fish in between. Thanks to the grandmothers who put out the time to raise the next generation. There are some very tough days when you arrive during the rainy season, and Grandma has a corn field. My brother, you will eat a lot of corn, but you will also visit the farm as many times as she would like to weed the farm.We visit the farm to learn how to harvest the corn and how to protect the stems of the yams (Ome-ji).
The three main crops in the farm were corn, yams, and cassava. She would teach you how to plant the three, but remind you that the men cultivate and plant the yams while the women cultivate and plant the corn and the cassava. I did learn how to plant cassava since the stick can be planted upside down if you do not observe carefully. The corn was easy to plant, but the yams she did not teach me, since it was the duty of the Grandpa.
To be honest, Grandpa is nowhere to be found. Grandpa leaves early in the morning and comes back home late at night. On Sunday, we go to church together, but after church, Grandpa has multiple meetings to attend. I do not know if the trend has changed, but Grandpas should try to be home for the grandchildren.
Grandma comes whenever my mother delivers a baby, and she will bring all the fruit we like from the village and stay in our house for three months before going back to the village. While going back, we will convince her to request from our parents that we need to come and help her on the farm, so that we can enjoy her company once more. Grandmother’s home is the best place to be as a kid.
Mama Nukwu, it is that time of the year, please prepare for our arrival. In Grandmother’s house, she gives the fullness of love and attention, and gives you the freedom to challenge life as a growing homo sapiens.
