by Paul Chika Emekwulu
As an adult, there is something I don’t do all the time but I do it most of the time. I don’t do it all the time for a reason or reasons you’ll understand. Now, some of you may be wondering what it is that I do most of the time but not all the time.
Let me explain.
A few days before 2023 Christmas I needed water for household use. I called a water tanker driver who in turn instructed me to call him in two days to remind him of our oral agreement. I agreed to this arrangement bearing in mind how busy they are during festive seasons like Christmas. After two days I called him as per our agreement. He did not answer the call. I made four more attempts before his phone was answered. As soon as he identified the caller, we got into an argument because he completely forgot. If he had listed me as an item on what I call DTDL, the argument wouldn’t have taken place at all. A DTDL would have prevented the argument which was unnecessary.
So, what is this DTDL? DTDL stands for Day To Do List. A DTDL is a list of tasks to be started and completed either at home or outside the home in course of a day. For your child, a DTDL item can then be defined as any activity that takes your child’s time and at times his or her energy. Any activity that meets that definition is qualified to be a DTDL item.
Examples include the following:
(1) Doing the dishes (2) Washing clothes (3) Bible reading (4) Doing homework
(5) Attending catechism class
(6) Other activities deemed fit through parental guidance
Parental guidance entails helping a child decide what qualifies as a DTDL item and what doesn’t. It also entails inspecting and making sure items are attended to and completed according to any laid down rules if applicable. It entails assisting a child in repeating an item if necessary followed by appropriate punishment if and as needed. Should any punishment be meted out to a child, he or she should be made to understand why he or she was punished. That could prevent a repeat experience for the child. DTDL is a useful parenting tool if well utilized.
“Everything I’ll do is in my head,” said a friend of mine. “Trying to memorize the items on your DTDL is not the best,” I said. Perhaps she needs to read Habbakuk 2:2 where the Lord says to the prophet, “Write it plain upon tables that he may run that readeth it.”
The word of God is reminding us that when we put something in writing, it makes commitment easier. Goal setting is a typical example and of course DTDL.
Let’s look at more situations where DTDL would have served as a better and a wonderful parenting tool.
A young girl who is a student at a local girls’ secondary school helps her mum out at a convenient store whenever her school schedule allows. One day, a few days before the Nigeria’s February 25, 2023 presidential election, I overheard her mother talking to her furiously. She was complaining that she wasn’t attending well enough to household chores whenever she is at home.
“So you stayed at home and you didn’t do much,” she told her daughter with a very angry voice.
After that she continued reprimanding her almost continuously. This was when I intervened because I couldn’t handle it anymore.
“Stop saying that to your daughter,” I told her. I’ve a parental tool I’ll share with you that could help you in managing your daughter’s chores at home and of course outside the home too. Such a tool will make you happy and make her happy as well.” A few days after, as she was closing for the day I called her attention and said,” I’m sorry for the way I talked to you the other day you were talking to your daughter.” At that time I re-affirmed my promise to share the parental tool I was talking about and what I had in mind then was DTDL. She nodded in agreement and I left. Had she identified those chores and had them written down, that would have helped her in monitoring how much was done and how much wasn’t done.
Unfortunately, this hardworking mother is not the only pebble on the beach. Many mothers, fathers and so on go through this everyday with their children especially now that the cellular phone has taken over the reading culture. That is why excessive use of cellular phone could be regarded as metaphorically evil. That is why your child should be taught to realize that the cellular phone though a wonderful thing to have is not a wonderful thing to make it his or her best friend because there are better friends and a book is one of them. Get your children in the habit of reading. Neither you nor your child will regret doing so.
Here is another instance.
Mrs. Uchenwa is a housewife (not her real name). She told me she doesn’t consider a grocery list of any help to her. I asked her why. Listen to what she said: She said that whenever she is shopping with a list, it makes her think that she cannot afford her grocery needs. She also thinks that is other people’s opinion of her. In fact, she is self-conscious when it comes to using lists especially for groceries. But think about it. Does it really make much sense shopping from memory only to find out that she forgot pepper, crawfish, leafy vegetables, or toiletries for her bathroom? Uchenwa is not the only one. There are many men and women like her. They don’t see a need for a grocery list, they don’t see a need for a list prior to a vacation, they don’t see a need for any situation that needs one.
On the other hand, there are others out there who realize the need for these lists. Unfortunately, they are not many.
I can hear someone asking;
“Do I really have to keep a list on a daily basis?”
Not necessarily on a daily basis because at times you may not have much to do or get up on the wrong side of the bed and not feeling like living your day with a list. This now explains why I said at the very beginning that I do it most of the time but not all the time.
Business executives realize the importance of lists. Items on their list include the phone calls to make, the emails to attend to, the meetings to attend, the webinars to organize or participate in etc.
DTDL is not a new concept. The truth is that people don’t care to use it as much as they should. At times we use it without realizing it. In formal meetings, it takes the form of an agenda. In wedding ceremonies, we call it program of events. Such a list provides a sense of orderliness for everyone.
Here are some tips that could help anyone in compiling a DTDL.
(1) Always make room for flexibility.
(2) Make changes where possible.
(3) Check off each item as completed.
(4) Write your DTDL on anything convenient to you.
(5) Let any unattended item spill over into the next day’s list.
(6) Your DTDL should relate to your goals as much as possible (if applicable). This assures you that you are doing something everyday no matter how small towards achieving your goals.
(7) Your DTDL should be dated.
One good thing about DTDL is that it doesn’t discriminate based on age, gender, location, religion or political affiliation. As old as I am I still use a list. The advantages accrue for adults as well as for the young.
So, what does my son, daughter, or my other children or even myself gain by living with DTDL?
Well, the advantages are many. Look at what a list can do for you and your children.
(1) A list teaches responsibility.
(2) A list motivates your child.
(3) A list gets your child organized.
(4) A list brings order into your child’s life.
(5) A list helps to get your child out of trouble by keeping him meaningfully busy.
(6) A list teaches your child how to set priorities.
(7) A list helps to improve your child’s memory.
(8) A list helps your child with time management.
(9) A list brings joy and happiness in your child’s life.
(10) A list introduces division of labour into family life.
(11) A list helps a child in getting rid of procrastination.
(12) A list helps your child in seeing his or her day at a glance.
(13) A list could be a teaching tool for example in mathematics.
(14) A list is a displinary tool especially for parents with a lot of kids.
(15) A list improves relationship between family members especially siblings.
Here is a typical list for a housewife:
(1) Laundry (2) Cooking (3) Farm work (4) Doing the dishes (5) Going to the market (6) Shopping (7) Making phone calls (8) A visit to the doctor (9) A visit to the pharmacy (10) PTA/School Board meeting (11) Funeral or Burial ceremony (12) Drawing water from a bore hole (13) Visiting the sick (14) Church activities (15) A visit to a friend (16) A visit to a motor or motorcycle mechanic
For a teacher who is also a housewife, in addition to some of the above, here are additional items:
(1) Creating test items
(2) Writing lesson notes
(3) Recording school work
(4) Teacher conference
(5) Grading students’ class assignments
(6) Visiting administrative offices (Ministry of Education, School Board etc.)
As a literate parent you’ve more opportunities than your parents, grandparents or great grandparents for lucky ones among us to make a difference not only in your own life but in the lives of your own children in particular and the society at large. This is one of the main reasons why you went to school in the first place. Do not therefore leave everything to the teacher. As a literate parent DTDL is available to you not only as a parental tool but as a teaching tool as well. The home is still one of the agents of education. A literate parent can take advantage of DTDL and use it to reinforce certain mathematical concepts learnt in school such as fractions, percentages etc.
Here are sample questions:
(1) How many tasks altogether?
(2) How many tasks were completed?
(3) How many tasks were not completed?
(4) What fraction of the tasks was completed?
(5) What fraction of the tasks were not completed?
(6) What percentage of the tasks was completed?
(7) What percentage of the tasks was not completed?
(8) Find the sum of fractions of tasks completed and fraction of tasks not completed. (a) What do you notice? (b) Convert your result in (a) to percent. What do you notice?
All the above are just sample questions that could be created from a particular DTDL.
Now allow your children to practice identifying DTDL items for the day, for practice makes perfect. Your job is to inspect and approve the list and check for commencement and completion of tasks. When DTDL becomes consistent and becomes very much a family lifestyle and when children discover the joy of living with DTDL, it becomes a part of family tradition. That time everybody in the family will come to like it and never live without it. This, then reminds us what the word of God says in Proverbs 22:6 (NLT): “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.”
