By Paul Chika Emekwulu
“Who?”
“Who is this?”
“Do I know you?”
“Where are you from?”
“Have I met you before?”
“Do we live in the same town?”
“Please would you mind telling me your name?”
“Please, I cannot remember this face.”
Have you ever said any of the above to someone or has someone ever said any of those to you while on Twitter, Facebook, WhatsApp or any of the social media platforms? Which ever way, does it really matter? We’ll find out as we get more detailed with the following questions:
Do we really have to know people before accepting their messages? Do we really have to know someone before connecting with him or her on LinkedIn, the best social media platform for professionals of all categories? Do we really have to know someone before following him or her on Twitter? Do we really have to know someone before taking or returning his or her phone calls? Finally, do we really have to know someone before being a part of his or her circle on Google Plus, a Google platform? The answer is all no though beauty as it is said is still in the eye of the beholder. Information doesn’t discriminate and empowerment doesn’t discriminate. Neither discriminates based on one’s skin colour, religion, gender, location, postal or zip code, identity, state nor country of origin etc.
When you have to know someone personally before accepting his or her messages on any of the social media platforms, that is closed-mindedness. When you have to know someone personally before accepting or returning his or her phone call, that is closed-mindedness.
Before rejecting one’s friendly or business overtures, give yourself time to measure his or her level of sincerity and honesty. The Rome I know wasn’t built in a day and your Rome may not be different from mine. At times it is all about trust and trust takes time to build. When you have to know someone before accepting his or her friendship on Facebook despite his or her authenticity which could be verified over time with continued communication, that is closed-mindedness.
As we all know knowledge gives light and light in turn dispels ignorance, the agent of darkness. Open mindedness is empowering because at times it gives you access to people, places and things that couldn’t have been possible otherwise.
It was Charles Kettering, an American engineer, inventor and founder of Delco, the company that brought automobiles into the age of elecricity, who said, “Nothing comes out right the first time.” What he is saying for example is that building relationships takes time, buildimg relationships requires understanding and trust. Building relationships is a two way traffic, it is a bidirectional social activity.
Now some of us have been involved with businesses without phone or direct physical contact. A business deal can be started via regular mail and ended via regular mail. For this to happen honesty has to be the best policy and there is no law against honesty.
If you have to know someone before interacting with him or her honestly and meaningfully, are you not denying yourself of information, an important tool for empowerment? Doing so you are rejecting information which as the saying goes is power. Without information empowering yourself becomes more difficult and you cannot have an empowered self, let alone extending that empowered self to other people. Use every tool available to you to filter the information coming your way. If necessary do what Mark Twain, an American humorist, novelist, writer and lecturer and author of Life in the Mississippi said. What did he say? He said, “Tell the truth.”
At times what we need to establish a relationship either with individuals or businesses is honesty. Every relationship needs honesty. This cannot be emphasized enough. Moreover, the number one benefit of honesty is honesty itself.
By the way when we talk of knowing someone, what are we talking about? Are we talking about knowing him or her by name, having talked to him or her on the phone or having met him or her physically or what else? People have different views about these things as there are different individuals, so there are different views to be shared about this subject.
Let honesty be your initial condition and watch the level of reciprocation. If the reciprocation takes or maintains a straight line path which stands for honesty, why should you not further and retain the relationship? On the other hand, if the reciprocation index doesn’t meet your standard, in other words, if the reciprocation takes a meandering path, which could be dishonesty, is it not time for you to decide what you want? Low level of reciprocation could be a signal for wrong motive which could mean dishonesty.
Personally, I’ve done business with many US businesses and schools, some with phone calls, some without phone calls, just regular calls and correspondence. First, these bookstores: Barnes & Noble, Hastings and Borders Books and the following book marketers: Amazon (the world’s largest online book seller), Highsmith, Quality Books, Bookazine, Unique Books and Baker & Taylor Books etc. In all these there was no misunderstanding from the beginning of the relationship to the end of the relationship.
People we’ve never met before, people we’ve never called on the phone before, people we’ve never exchanged emails with before, people we’ve never seen before at grocery stores, malls etc. are all possible future clients, friends or acquaintances who we can exchange information with. You don’t only have to exchange information with only those you know or with only those you’ve met at a party, business luncheon, church, otherwise, you are limiting your knowledge base, otherwise you are narrowing your perspectives, otherwise you are narrowing your opportunities.
In direct marketing (use of printed information) in places like United States and Canada etc., you don’t necessarily have to have any direct contact or know the other person before sending him or her your sales information though this results to junk mails (unwanted or unsolicited mails). You can still learn from junk mails. It was through junk mails that I came to know a lot about the United States. Because of the advent of online marketing, direct marketing is gradually fading away as a marketing tool.
Social media is about information and ideas. Books are about information and ideas as well and information is power and more power when used responsibly. Books get you to where you probably wouldn’t have been otherwise. That’s empowering. Do you have to know the author of a book before reading his or her work of creativity? Do you have to know the founder of WhatsApp before using the application? Do you have to know Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook before creating an account on one of the most widely used social media platforms on this planet? Do you have to know the founder of Twitter before you create a Twitter handle? Do you have to know the late Chinụa Achebe before reading or reading to your child the famous Things Fall Apart? How many of us know William Shakespeare of Hamlet, Julius Caesar, Othello or Upton Sinclair of The Jungle or Jane Austen of Pride and Prejudice or J. K. Rowlings of the famous Harry Porter or Charles Dickens of Animal Farm or Chimamanda Ngọzi Adichie of Popular Hibiscus and so on? Do you have to know the librarians at any of the community, regional or national libraries before borrowing books on genealogy, mathematics, history, science fiction, or any book of your interest? Absolutely not! Do you have to know the other person before asking for assistance for your non-governmental organization (NGO)? The answer is No.
This is one of the problems Nigerian businesses are either experiencing presently or will surely experience in the future because of lack of honesty in Nigerian society. In some places in Nigeria, dishonesty in business is synonymous with intelligence. As a result dishonesty in business is informally taught and encouraged.
What this further means is that direct marketing as a business model will not be a successful business venture in Nigeria.
Members of the following professions or trades should exchange. phone numbers among themselves. In some cases, such exchange should be extended to individuals because they may need the services or products of these professionals and or businesses. Here is the list:
(A) Nurse, doctors, pharmaceutical stores nursing assistants and herbalists etc.
(B) Carpenters, bricklayers, house painters, welders, building contractors, surveyors and architects etc.
(C) Classroom Teachers, headmasters, headmistresses, school board and PTA members, parents and school counselors etc.
(D) Printers, self-published authors, writers, book editors, copywriters, graphic designers (book cover designers), publisher’s sales representatives, libraries and book marketers etc.
(E) Newspaper editors, radio & TV reporters, authors and newspaper reporters etc.
(F) Meeting planners, speakers and vendors etc.
(G) Lawyers, traditional rulers, pastors and Reverend Fathers etc.
(H) Lawyers, estate agents, property managers, landlords etc.
(I) Landlords, tenants property managers etc.
(J) Computer repairers, business owners, heads of institutions etc.
(K) Computer manufacturers, heads of institutions, individuals, businesses etc.
(L) Auto mechanics, vulcanizers, car upholstery experts, motor spare parts dealers etc.
(M) Osiriọra, individuals, churches, women’s and men’s groups, age grades etc.
(N) Okwuruọra, individuals, age grade groups, families etc.
(Ọ) Sand tippers, cement dealers, individuals, cement block industries etc.
(P) Commercial drivers, Keke tricycle operators, individuals etc.
There is a need for exchange of contact information between people in various types of similar professions and related businesses. Stop shopping for excuses. Take advantage of technology. Information is still power and more power when used responsibly. This has been said several times and cannot be said enough.
When we get to the point where we don’t have to travel to say Lagos before closing a sale (having initiated the sale over the phone, social media etc.) or travel to National Library, Enugu before inquiring about a research article or travel to Abuja before securing a speaking engagement or know someone before accepting his or her messages on social media, then that point in history should be noted as a turning point and that is when real progress begins and closed-mindedness dropped. Always remember, no knowledge is end to knowledge and nobody is an island.
In conclusion, just because you don’t know someone is not enough an excuse to reject their friendly overtures (genuine or not). At times we have to use the long rope approach. Also always rely on your discretion as a discernent tool to filter any such situation. Be safe.
